One word....love

Dear Life,

It's been awhile.

The face we fell in love with

Life has been turned upside down for us.

Our girl is finally home!

"Gotcha Day", February 16, 2014

The boys (minus the one parking the car) waiting for their sister at LAX

(Photo cred: Julie Presley)

Daddy meeting his daughter

(Photo cred: Julie Presley)

Kumaka holding Sofi's hand for the first time (she's looking at him like "Oh no, I'm in trouble")

(Photo cred: Julie Presley)

She is amazingly, wonderfully perfect.

Gazing at her...in awe.

(Photo cred: Julie Presley)

Her spirit shines through whenever she graces us with her smile.

She can be silly.


She can be sad (usually when she's hungry).


But she's perfectly made and amazingly perfect.


The first week she came home, as I contemplated this whirlwind we call "Stepping With Sofi" (also known as "Steps to Sofi"), I was given a confirmation that felt like God whispering to me "This is right.  You have done what I have asked.  She is with her family now.  Thank you"  Tears coursed down my face when I realized to the core of my body that adopting Sofi was something that was absolutely something that God wanted us to do.  It's hard to describe that kind of emotion.

(Photo cred: Julie Presley)

Watching my husband love on this sweet angel, my heart melts into a puddle on the floor.

Watching every single one of my boys hold her with adoration and do their very best to make her smile gives me peace.  She is the glue that bonds our family that we didn't even know we needed.  This tiny, 5 year old angel holds so much power in her hands, her sweet smile, her beautiful brown eyes.  

As we have been with her for a month, and seen some specialists, things have been brought to our attention, and some realities we never thought we would have to face are here.  Things that are hard...extremely hard.

Sofi does not have Spina Bifida.
She in fact has severe Cerebral Palsy.
She had a lesion in her head at birth that was maybe corrected (we are awaiting an MRI to see what is going on in that sweet head of hers)
She had hydrocephalus and now has a shunt.
There are many things that most likely will not change for our sweet girl, no matter how much therapy she has.
Honestly, these words have been hard to hear, and are even harder to write.
Make no mistake, she will have the best medical care we can give her.
We don't expect changes, but when miracles happen, we will rejoice. 


We have cried many tears in the last few weeks, knowing that her path is not the path we expected.
We have humbled ourselves, and asked God, "what is Your plan, because this was not mine".  

We came to a very important realization.  

Sofi came to our family because of love.
The first component of family is love.

Because of the many people that have loved our family, and this sweet girl, she has a mommy, daddy and five brothers.
But more importantly, our family is learning about love from a pure source....our sweet daughter.



Adoption is not perfect.

Adoption is so worth it.

She is not perfect in body...but her spirit is perfect as it shines through her eyes.  

(Photo cred: Chelsea Abinante)

We are blessed to call her daughter.  We can only pray to live up to her example of strength, perseverance, and love.

(Photo cred: Julie Presley)

Dreams

Dear Life,

Let's talk about life.

More specifically, lets talk about dreams.

When we are little kids we dream....

where do we want to live when we grow up? (A castle...in the clouds...with a unicorn)
where do we want to go to college? (Somewhere far away...from my parents)
where do we want to work? (Somewhere I can be famous)
how many children will we have? (two)
what kind of vacations will we have? (Hawaii, Paris, England...all of the cool places)

What if you were a little girl who didn't know how to dream?
What if you were just grateful when you got moved from one room to another?
What if you didn't have parents?
Or siblings?
Anyone to hug you or kiss you or read you to sleep?
What then?
You wouldn't know what a castle in the clouds looks like, or even know about school, or work, or even fathom what a family looks like, and a vacation??? What's that?

There is such a girl....in a country across the world from us.
She has captured our heart....and made us dream for something beyond what we already have.
She taught us to work hard...to pray more...to have more strength...without even meeting us.
She taught us that the bonds of love are as strong as the bonds of blood.
She taught us to think outside of our world....our little neighborhood.....she taught us to see.

We have worked hard...for a year.
We've signed papers, notarized papers, apostilled papers, over and over and over again.
We've written check after check for hundreds of thousands of dollars.
We've had our fingerprints done three different times.
We've all had physicals.
We've had background checks completed.
We've had a homestudy done.
We've fundraised....a LOT.
$18000.
That's a LOT of money.
We are so close.

In September I get to FINALLY meet this girl of our dreams.
This four year old, dark haired, brown eyed girl.
The catalyst to our life changing story.
For one week my best friend and I will get to visit her every day for five days. 
And then...we have to return.
Empty handed.
We will have to fill out more paperwork.
Wait for it to be approved.
Have it translated.
Wait for court.
Wait for a pickup date.
5 more months. 
January if we are lucky.
Could be March.

For now...as we wait...we continue to raise money.
Travel money.
Court fees.
Agency fees.
Money.
I wish I didn't have to worry about money...I wish it didn't cost as much as it does...I wish I had the money myself.
But our love for her...our desire to provide this sweet girl with a family...with LOVE...with a chance to dream.....
That love propels us forward.

We are still collecting used clothing.
We have 151 puzzle pieces that need sponsoring ($5 each...and you can win 2 Tix to Disneyland or 2 day Tix for 2 to Legoland)
We have a few other opportunities coming down the road (one of which is a matching grant we are so excited about).

Please....consider your dreams.....your children's dreams....and consider helping us...create dreams for another special little girl.

Miracles and Angels

Dear Life,

We are so blessed.  When we first started on this journey of adoption, we were petrified.
Scared out of our minds.
The one thing we knew is that Sofi belonged with our family...and somehow we would make it happen.
We prayed.
A LOT.
And we've witnessed miracle after miracle.
From a local jeweler creating a beautiful custom pendant to be raffled off with all proceeds going towards Sofi...
To a dear friend (who happens to be an amazing photographer) doing minisessions one weekend and donating 100 percent of the proceeds to Sofi...
To asking for used shoes for our shoe drive only hoping to collect 5000 and receiving 12000 pairs...exceeding our secret dream of collecting 10000 therefore helping us pay for all of our agency fees!

And then last week another miracle happened...
I called immigration because I lost the fingerprinting paperwork we needed for our appointment on Thursday.
The officer told me no one was assigned to the case yet...but she would email me the paperwork we needed so we didnt' have to postpone our appointment.
I felt like such a loser for losing the paper.
Thursday we went for our appointment.
Friday I received a call from this amazing officer....she received a huge stack of files and ours was on the bottom of the pile.
She remembered me and our story.
She approved us.
Less than a month.
When it was supposed to be 45-60 days.
Now we are just waiting for Sofi's country to sign a letter of referral and give us dates to visit.

How can I think anything else but God has this little girl in His hands...and is rushing this process right along.
Sofi is my daughter.
She has a loving daddy and five amazing brothers.
And she is being covered in love by so many others.
People like you...
People praying for her.
People giving what they can.
People sharing her story.
Angels on earth.

We are so very grateful for all of you.
We are asking, pleading, that if you can, please consider donating one dollar this week.
Here is the link to GIVE1SAVE1
Our goals  are lofty, if we can reach 2000 dollars, not only will that cover my plane ticket, but it will cover my husbands as well.
If we don't reach that, I will travel alone.
And that's fine.
But I would so love to capture the moment Sofi meets her daddy.
He has been waiting a long time for a daughter.
She will be here soon.

Flying towards Sofi

Dear Life,

We are getting closer to Sofi!  We have a completed homestudy in our possession.  We have received our FBI clearances.  We have taken our documents to Downtown LA to get them apostilled at the Secretary of State office (Really grateful right now that we have a satellite office in LA...and it's driveable.  If we were to mail them in, we would still be waiting for them to be done...and heaven forbid if there is a problem).  Just sent off the majority of our documents to Sofi's country, they are awaiting our FBI clearances (just sent them to Washington DC to get apostilled) and our immigration clearances.  THAT'S IT folks!!!!  Then...they translate it and take it to court where they decide whether or not we are officially approved to adopt Sofi!  From there, they will give us a date to visit!!!!!!  It's so very surreal to be this far.  We are in the hurry up...then wait period.  We have been scrambling to get everything done...and things have all come up at once....and now we wait for governments to do their thing.  

And tonight, I have been thinking of our girl.  My heart is breaking because of the waiting.  My arms are aching to hold her...to teach her about her family...to show her the world.  We can't wait to take her to the ocean....to see her eyes light up when she sees the birds at the beach or hears the soothing waves.  I can't wait to hold her in my lap, to hold her sweet hand, to teach her about love.  Imagine...having to teach a four year old about love.  We take it for granted....because we all have it.  But for this little girl, she has only known people who care for her because it's their job.  She hasn't felt joy, she hasn't expressed happiness. I'm not sure she knows how to FEEL at all.  I'm sad we have to wait....that she has to wait....but I do know that it will happen in His time...and in His perfect way.  And I know that once she is here....love for her will be overflowing.  

If any of you want to know what you can do to help us, here is how right now:

Our friend Amy Moss at Owls for Orphans is doing a fundraiser for us.  For every owl purchased, she is donating 50 percent (yes that is correct....Five Zero) towards our adoption.  If you want to purchase an adorable hand made owl and don't have  a place for one, don't you worry, you can buy one for an orphan!  They are helping us fly towards Sofi!!!! 

We are also taking straight donations through our YouCaring site.  Below is the link!  

We are collecting money for travel at this point...so as soon as we get the green light we are ready to purchase tickets!!!!!!  Please consider an owl (through the month of March or a straight donation) to help us fly away!

I promise

Dear Life,

I promise to tell the truth.
No matter how hard it is.
No matter how bad it makes me feel.
No matter if it is not the happily ever after.

The truth right now?

I KNOW that we are supposed to adopt Sofi.

The other truth?

It is terrifying.

We are focusing on the steps to adoption...it's a great distraction to the reality of it. 
We are so busy gathering papers, collecting signatures, getting reports, and fundraising we don't have time to be afraid.
Unless it's midnight.
And everyone is asleep.
Right now I am admitting my fear.

I would be lying if I said it wasn't scary.
I'm afraid that she won't know how to handle having someone hug her. (That horrifies me...that she may not want to be hugged...but it could happen)
I'm afraid she'll get sick and die before we get her.
I'm afraid people won't accept her.
I'm afraid Kumaka will be sad.
I'm afraid my boys will resent her.
I'm afraid.

Now that my fears have been written down, I'm going to tell you that our family will not let fear rule our lives.
We will education ourselves, we will pray (a lot), we will talk (a lot), we will love each other (even when we make mistakes), we will recognize fear (and then figure out what we need to do to alleviate that fear), we will be patient (with ourselves and with others), we will forgive  (each other and others), we will love. 

We know that fear is not how God works.  LOVE is.  And although there may be (will be) difficulties, with LOVE, FAITH, PATIENCE, ENDURANCE, FORGIVENESS, and a lot of PRAYER we will be okay.  Because we love Sofi.  
And more importantly, GOD loves Sofi.

I promise to be honest....and to share the good and the bad.  To tell the truth.  
The best part of this story will be even better after passing through the challenges. 

Thank you for your support, love, and kindness.

A lesson in shoes

Dear Life,

I've been quiet.  I've been trying to process all that has happened in the last few months.  It's a little overwhelming.  When you watch miracles happen in your own life...obvious miracles...it can take your words away.  Thank you for letting me have some time to process.  There are a few things I wanted to share.  Our testimony of God in adoption is pure and true.  We have seen small and large miracles.  Things that we cannot deny.  TRUTH is truth.

GOD lives.

GOD exists.

GOD loves us.

GOD knows our needs.

GOD LOVES THE LOST CHILDREN.

GOD loves our little Sofi. 

GOD has blessed our adoption journey.

GOD has sent us on this journey...and GOD will see us through.

We found Sofi....

We KNEW we needed to bring her here...to be her family.

We prayed.

Step by step.

We realized that we needed our Homestudy money..$2250. 

It was becoming time sensitive.

We prayed more.

It was becoming stressful.

Without a homestudy we couldn't move forward.

Within three days...THREE DAYS of a pleading tearful prayer...an anonymous donor sent us first $250 and then an hour later another anonymous donor sent $1000.  

The next day I sent the money in for the full amount.

We prayed again...how do we raise more money?

Fundraising is challenging at it's best and impossible at it's worst.

One night, as I searched various things, I came across Angel Bins.

I contacted them...and the “Shoes for Sofi” shoe drive was born.

In December we started the drive...we got 1000 pairs pretty easy.

We went on Kumaka's trip, and then Christmas happened.

Shoes did NOT happen.

We knew January would have to be a big push for shoes.  

We needed a little under 4000 pairs in one month.

I knew....I had a strange knowledge that we could get 5000 pairs.

Never...never...never...in a million years did we think we would see our shoe drive go almost viral.

Never did we even imagine that we could get double of what our goal was...much less over 12,500 pairs.  

Never did we imagine we would earn $9422.

And yet we did.

That covers ALL of our agency fees.

And part of our in country agency fees.

HUGE miracle.  

HUGE.

How many people were touched by “Shoes forSofi” by sharing our story and collecting shoes or donating shoes?

We'll never know.

There is another aspect of the Shoes for Sofi story.

My dear friend Cristina Barber is an English teacher for MacArthur Middle School.

She had been collecting shoes and even counting them and storing them in her own garage.

She and  Lisa Morgan, the CLAS teacher for their district, decided to make the shoe drive a lesson for her 130 students.  

First, she printed off this post from my blog entitled "Their Story" 

Cristina explained that the blog was a type of poem.

The students then had the weekend to interpret the "poem" (my blog post) and do a circle map where they defined words...and of course they all wanted to know WHAT IS SPINA BIFIDA?

When the students came back to school on Monday, she then had a story about a girl named Andrea who has Spina Bifida along with some information about what Spina Bifida is from Kids Health.

That same day the classes discussed Angel Bins, and how they could be a solution.

The students did circle maps for both the Spina Bifida article and the Angel Bins information.

The paired off and discussed what they learned.

They went home and had to discuss what they learned with their parents.

That night, the students had to create a rough draft of a tri fold brochure explaining the whole project:

Who were the Jensen's and what are they doing?

What is Spina Bifida?

How does Angel Bins give a solution?

On the back they had to share a personal quote about the project.

They were also given one day to collect shoes if they wanted to.

Boy did they want to.

These kids were so touched by our story, by Kumaka, by Sofi.

They wanted to help.

And they wanted to know the outcome.

We were invited to school the week after the drive ended.

All five classes were invited to"meet the Jensen's" (Me, Kalani, and Kumaka) at lunchtime for a question and answer session.

We were treated like celebrities.

The kids wanted to hug Kumaka and give him high fives. 

They took turns asking questions, some directed at me and some directed at Kumaka.

These kids melted my heart.

I wanted to share some of the quotes that were given on their final projects:

"We are capable of helping others in need, such as the Jensens.  Even one donation can make a difference."    Maggie 

"Heart-warming, emotional, and more words that are far beyond."  James 

"Find out what's possible, if you never give up."  Jaymy 

"It is our job to protect the children of our generation."  Moses

" I didn't know how involved, determined, and courageous some families are, until now."                                                                                                              Luisa

"So we think a problem is going to get in the way.  No, we can achieve anything we dream of."    Sami 

"We are all different, and that's what makes up beautiful."  Arianna 

"We are capable of so much.  We start nations, we've gone to the moon, we've been to the bottom of the sea … the least we can do is bring Sofi home."  Logan 

"Money is made every day, but the bond of love the Jensens have for Sofi is once in a lifetime."   Rogelio 

"You don't have to be big or rich to make differences, all you have to do is care."  Tyler

"If we are capable of buying shoes, then we are capable of giving shoes."  Esmeralda 

Me, Kalani, Nico, Kumaka and Cristina

This teacher taught 130 children about Spina Bifida, about adoption, about supporting others in the community, about service, about children in other countries....the list goes on.  If I had my way, she would get teacher of the century award.  She is a true teacher...she loves her students as much as she loves her friends.  All of that from a shoe drive.

Amazing right?

God is good.

Miracles happen.

We have witnessed them.

Their story

Dear Life,

A child was born six years ago.
Our child.
We were terrified of what caring for him would entail.
We were even scared that his life would not be a long and full life.
We didn't know what to expect.

Over the past six years, our son has had to deal with difficult things.
Multiple surgeries.
Multiple infections.
Multiple bone breaks.
Multiple hospital stays.

We were warned.
We knew that could happen.
We didn't care.

The day he was born was one of the most difficult days of our lives.
It was also one of the most beautiful.
We met an angel on earth that day.
We call him Kumaka.

His smile lights up the whole room.
His strength buoys us up in times of difficulty.
His determination defies all odds.
His life is a miracle.

We didn't choose Spina Bifida.
It chose him.
But Spina Bifida does not keep him down.
It does not define him.
His spirit, his strength, his determination is his.

Last year we started talking about ways we can give back.
How can we help other children with Spina Bifida have a wonderful life and opportunities like Kumaka has?
One night, we were perusing Children's House International file of children needing to be adopted.
We noticed the program for children in Eastern Europe that have Spina Bifida.
We started looking at all of these beautiful children.
We wept.
We contacted someone from the agency.
She sent us files of a few children.
We saw the most beautiful, brown haired, brown eyed baby girl.
Our eyes immediately teared up.
It was like she was calling for us from the computer.
We started the initial paperwork.
And we started praying.
Praying for wisdom on how to raise the funds necessary to bring home our girl.
We've been blessed by many...
We've done a few different things.
One day I found a website that does shoe drives for fundraising.
I called them up.
We discussed what was necessary.
We signed up.
5000 pairs of used shoes is what we have to collect.
" I can get that done" I thought to myself.
I had no idea the magnitude of what 5000 pairs of shoes was.
I just knew that we needed that money to bring home Sofi.
I knew that we could do it somehow.
I started posting the shoe drive on Facebook.
A few pairs of shoes started coming in.
We went on our trip with Make A Wish and didn't talk about it at all.
We came back and it was Christmas.
January 1st we barely had 1000.
I knew we could do it.
We just needed to talk about it.
So we talked more.
Shared photos.
Asked people to do drives.
We started getting more shoes.
And then two weeks ago happened.
One day our shoe drive blanketed Facebook.
It was being shared by so many people we couldn't keep track.
As fast as we could count, people would bring more.
We then started seeing a phenomenon we didn't expect.
Shoes coming from all over the United States.
People shipping their shoes.
We live in California, but we have received or will soon receive shoes from: PA, OH, IN, AZ, TX, ID, UT, GA, OR, FL, MD, and MA.
We have or are receiving from Inland Empire, Orange County, San Diego County, Los Angeles County, Kern County, if not more.
Driving home from San Diego to pick up the second load from Cardiff, my husband started talking about this crazy shoe drive.
We have seen miracles.
We know God's hand is in this.
We know that Sofi will come home in large part because of this.
And to see SO many people work SO hard (some people we don't even know) to help bring home our Sofi,
We KNOW He is here and He is in charge.
When we think we don't know how we will do it,
He provides a way.
And you all have heard Him.

This story is about love.
Love for a little girl.
A little girl that was born into nothing.
Born into emptiness.
She already has more love than she knows.
As she waits for everything to be completed,
We pray that she can feel the love that we have felt.
That it can sustain her during this wait.
She will be alone only temporarily.
Her story is your story.
It's your story because you shared your heart with us.
There are no words that we can say to express how grateful we are to each pair of shoes that was lovingly given to bring home our girl.
One pair or twenty; it's all the same.
You loved Sofi.
And for that, we can only say thank you.
We love you too.