We've all heard that our challenges in life are to teach us something right? Patience, forgiveness, etc. While both of those are something I need to work on, I've discovered recently that I need to focus at least right now on kindness.
Kind: of a good or benevolent nature or disposition, as a person: a kind and loving person.
I bet you're wondering where this came from. If you know me, you know I can be a kind and loving person.
I do my very best to be kind. But at this moment in time I mean a little something different.
When I found out about Kumaka's disability, I was 19 weeks pregnant. It was devastating to
say the least. I turned inward, and I will admit I was angry. Very angry. Not at God. Not
at my baby. I was angry at all the other mother's who were pregnant with healthy babies.
Isn't that ridiculous? I wasn't just a little angry, I was a lot angry. I thought these mothers
were so silly for saying when asked if they wanted a boy or a girl "As long as the baby is
healthy". Hmmmmm.....what happens if that isn't the case I wanted to ask them? I never
did, though. I steered clear of the healthy, head in the clouds, mommies
to be and stayed in my little dark cloud of doom and scariness.
I wish I could say that attitude of mine has gone away completely. It has to some degree as
I have come to terms with the fact that everyone has challenges; not everyone has health
challenges; not everyone has financial challenges; not everyone has marriage challenges. I
have learned to understand that everyone is not going to understand my life, my child, my
battles. But I need to be KIND nevertheless. I cannot force people to understand our
life, and I cannot force people to see my son for what he is. I can only be the best person
I can be. I can have love and compassion and kindness for others. I can
have empathy for others trials even if I think they are trivial or small. I can understand
that although it is my job to fight for my son it is not my job to fight everyone. I need to
discover the art of fighting only when necessary. I've had to do some serious fighting and
Kumaka is only five...and I think I have gotten a little hardened. I need to soften my heart
and be kind and compassionate. When I talk to God tonight, I will ask for His help to
develop these traits, and only then will I be successful.
Do you have anything you are working on to better who you are to others ?