Monday, February 9, 2015

A tribute

Dear Life,

Two weeks ago, my beloved grandmother passed away.  My grandma was amazing.  She wasn't raised to be the lovey dovey, sweet as pie grandma that one might think makes an amazing grandma.  She was a no- nonsense, speak her mind grandma.  She was frugal, and you knew when you went to her house you better not put your hands on the wall.  But she was always there.  ALWAYS. 

 She taught me to love God.  She taught me about Jesus.  Not in words, but in actions.  She was a servant of God until the day she died. She served her church every single day.  Literally until she went into the hospital.  And even then, she tried to leave the hospital to finish what she was doing.


  She taught me about unconditional love.  She was a presence in our lives always.  When I was little, she took us to church every Sunday.  She gave us a dollar to put in the offering basket.  After church, we would always go to breakfast.  Such favorite memories.  Once a year, her and my grandpa took my sister and I to Disneyland.  We never got souvenirs, we ate at the burger places not the sit down restaurants, and she sure did love the Country Bear Jamboree (which I HATED as a kid), but it was a place that we went to with them.  It was so fun.  As we grew up, got married, had kids, she was always there for them.  She went to promotions, graduations, soccer games, choir performances, baptisms, baby blessings, birthday parties, and anything else that was important to us.  

She has been constant in our lives.  Over the last few years, she has been sick, and she has missed my grandpa terribly.  He passed away before he could meet Kumaka, in October 2006.  She had been alone a long time.  I knew that one day, she would have to leave our world, and go to the next, happy to see her husband and her family.  We are all so sad that she is gone.  There is a gaping hole where she used to be.  But I am so very thankful for the gospel, for knowing that we can be together as a family again.  I am thankful she is no longer suffering.  And I am so thankful for every single thing she taught me while she was here.  I asked my boys what they remember about grandma, and the first thing Kekoa said was she was always there. That is her legacy.  












Sunday, February 8, 2015

A Confession



Dear Life,


When I went to church for the first time with Sofi, I got my feelings hurt.  People didn't know what to do with her, what class she should go to, what to think. I mean, she was so teeny tiny, she didn't look like a five year old, she was like a baby.  





 I went into fight mode.  This was my baby we were talking about.    I spoke with our bishop expressing my frustration.  Then I took a minute and realized I needed to TEACH people what to do, not ASSUME they know what to do when they see children that are disabled.  I live with disability day in and day out.  Most people don't.  I forgot that.  I was not being fair to those in our church.  For that, I am so sorry.  I took my sweet girl into Relief Society, dressed in her prettiest dress with her hair as perfect as could be, and introduced her to the women. 
 I shared her story.  And with tears in my eyes I asked them to please consider taking turns with her so that I could go to class.  I needed spiritual edification more than ever.  The sisters were amazing.  They got lists together and every week people took turns taking her to primary.  I have since communicated with the Primary President to talk about the best placement for Sofi.  Talking together, sharing what works and what doesn't, and putting aside my very tender heart to be able to not get my feelings hurt but hear what people are actually saying really helped me resolve our issue.  Since then, our church has put a great article about how to reach out to those with disabilities.  I love this article so much and it's applicable to so many areas.  It's called "Reaching Out to Those with Disabilities-And Their Families" in the February 2015 issue of the Ensign.    Please take a few minutes to read it.  Its opened my eyes and touched my heart.  It can be applied outside of a church environment as well.  Be a friend, take the time to listen, be understanding.  Parents of children or caretakers of adults that have disabilities are often exhausted, and don't realize that they need to take the time to explain what their life is like.  I am so thankful for Sofi.  She is such a bright light in our family.  And we are so thankful to everyone who has taken the time to spend an hour with her, to sing with her, to ask how she's doing.  





Friday, October 10, 2014

The Love Dare Day 8

The Love Dare
Day 8

"Love is as strong as death; it's jealousy as unyielding as the grave.  It burns like blazing fire."  Song of Solomon 8:6

I am so thankful that Tausha put together this challenge and is allowing me to participate.  I think this is a particularly difficult challenge because you have to come clean about  your own shortcomings.  No one wants to admit to being jealous!  So...here goes!

I love my husband to pieces.  He is my best friend, my lover, my soul mate.  In a week we will celebrate 20 years of marriage. 



 Almost half of my life I've been married!  We've had some amazing highs, and some really challenging lows.  Each one of our children has been a blessing to us.  Finding out that our youngest son was going to be born with a disability we knew nothing about was frightening and really one of the hardest things we have ever faced as parents.  It also made us stronger.  Strong enough to adopt little Ms. Sofi.  Our family now consists of five boys and one girl.  Two of these sweet kiddos has extras.  As a stay at home mom, there are times I sit at home, after changing what feels like the thirtieth diaper of the day, not having showered or looking glamorous for what feels like years, and I can't muster the enthusiasm to praise my husband for something he's done at work.  As a matter of fact, I am guilty of not wanting to hear about his day; of being jealous of the yummy lunch he ate in his meeting or the tickets he received to watch a game with one of the boys.  For a long time, I never understood the need to spend two hours in the ocean surfing...I was jealous of that time he spent away from me.  

Let's face it, relationships take work.  If you are not careful, envy and jealousy can destroy love.  Part of the reason that I wanted to join in the Love Dare is so I can put my relationship with Stuart first, before anything.  Our marriage is so important to me, eternally so.  It's time that I help US find US and strengthen that bond.  

Day 8 dare is to be your spouse's biggest fan!  Reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements take yesterdays list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it.  Then share with your partner how proud you are of a success or blessing he/she recently enjoyed. 


 LOVE is the most important thing in the world.    









Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Be the Change

Dear Life,

Now that we've talked about Spreading Sunshine (See post before this one), lets talk about Being the Change.

This summer, we attended a skate event called "Skate for a Cause" hosted by The Sheckler Foundation.  We were there to support our friend Madison with Peach's Neet Feet.

 It was so exciting to see so many skaters out there having fun doing what they do and raising money to help organizations like Peach's Neet Feet dream bigger and do more in the communities they serve.

The next day our family was able to be there to support a few of our friends when they received their new Peach's Neet Feet shoes delivered by some of the skaters on the board of The Sheckler Foundation.  It was beautiful to see our new friends meet these skate legends and get to spend some time with them.  

A few of the kids, Kumaka included, was able to skate that day.  There are a few pictures that I want to share because I was really touched by the symbolism of the moment.  

In this series of pictures you will see some things.

A professional skater.
A boy in a wheelchair.
A father.
A large ramp.















What do you see?

A professional skater?
A father?
A boy in a wheelchair?
A large ramp?

I saw all of those things too.
This is what else I saw.

A father trusting that young man up there to catch his son.
A boy in a wheelchair wanting to skate like every other kid.
A professional skater reaching out to that boy and giving him a hand.

In one arm, Ryan was holding one of my biggest treasures, the other he held his wheelchair.

He settled him in, gave him some tips and off Kumaka went.  

He made it down that ramp.

And Ryan Sheckler was the change. 

I'm not sure that Ryan realizes how symbolic this series of pictures is.

I'm not sure he realizes that THIS is how you "Be The Change".

Physically changing something for the better.  

Kumaka had a wonderful time that day.

Not because he was hanging out with Ryan Sheckler.

But because a skater took the time to reach up his hand and help him out.  


Please take the time to visit The Sheckler Foundation website and support their mission.  They are doing amazing things in the community.




Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Spreading Sunshine


Dear Life,

How do you try to change the world?  
How do you spread sunshine?
How do you show kindness?

Because of a pair of shoes, a hand painted pair of shoes that Kumaka was given, we met a beautiful soul.  
Her name is Madison. 
We call her Peach. 
Photo cred by Susan Posterro

Our family has known her for a little over a year, but it really feels like we have been family forever. Madison is the president of a beautiful non profit called Peach's Neet Feet

"Madison's mission is to create a movement of Pay it Forward initiatives and selfless acts of giving.  She uses art to create custom, hand-painted shoes to celebrate children who are fighting cancer and living with disabilities." 


Through Madison, our family has grown; our outlook on life, on others, has changed.  We have new layers, new fibers to add to the ones that we weaved already.  We have met so many amazing families.  Families with varying backgrounds, dealing with different stories.  And yet we are all dealing with something in common- our warrior children.  These other stories are now woven into our hearts, and we are truly blessed for it.  Every day, we look for ways to touch others hearts, to sprinkle a bit of sunshine towards someone else, to show love, to share a Random Act of Kindness.   




Please,  take the time to visit the Peach's Neet Feet website. Read about this amazing young girl.  Read about the children she has helped, about the families that have been touched, lifted up because of her passion.  

Then think, what have you done to share kindness today?  





Sunday, September 28, 2014

Beautifully messy

Dear Life, 

Today, as we all started getting ready for church at 8:00 am (for 11:00 church) I was thinking "Yes! I got this. My daughter just got out of the hospital, and now I have to fit in not only feeding her by mouth, but feeding her via GTube as well, but we will get to church and on time!"  Kids started showering and getting ready as I first fed then did Sofis "Tubie" feeding. Time marched on but I knew we could do it. Sofi finished, I cleaned out the tubing, put water in it for her fluid hour at church, then got the princess ready. She was so cute in her denim dress, white tights with black hearts and black boots. Did her hair, put in a bow, then looked at the clock. I had 30 minutes before church started. Did I tell you we try to get there 20 minutes before so my husband can do his ushering calling and we can get seats? Yeah, enter stress. I took the fastest shower ever, picked out an outfit, and as I was putting makeup on as fast as humanly possible so I didn't scare anyone, one of my lovely boys told me to hurry up we had to go. I told him as nicely as I could that if I didn't put some makeup on my face I would scare everyone and they would leave church.  I hurried faster, put my shoes on as I ran out and off we went with four minutes to spare. By the time we walked in, church had just started. We made a commotion, what with the bright green wheelchair and big stroller and all, and then getting everyone situated. Finally, we took a breath and prepared to be spiritually fed. Once again I was feeling pretty good about myself. I hooked Sofi up to get her water over the hour long sacrament meeting and sat back and rocked her while listening. And then.....Tubie unhooked and I felt liquid on my skirt. Yeah.... Formula started pouring out of Tubie. Whispers of "clamp it.... Hurry up...it's everywhere" could be heard. I realized then that I do not have it together. And then I gave myself some grace. I was where I needed desperately to be. My children were where they needed to be. My baby is getting healthier every day (even if I get messier)  and I got to hear my son receive a beautiful setting apart in the third hour for his new calling. 

Today was great. As I reflect I realize just how beautifully messy life is. And I wouldn't have it any other way. 

The tale of the mark of the warrior


Dear Life,

One day Kumaka asked about his scars.  He has quite a few.  At least 8, if not more.   And so, I told him the tale of the warrior.



Before you are born, you are a spirit.
You are taught many things.
Once you have learned all you are supposed to,
God meets with you, and he hand picks certain choice spirits.
He sees something special in these spirits.
A certain spark, a strength, a fortitude.
He asks them if they would consider being part of a very important group of people.
The people that will teach others.
But not because they are teachers, but because their personal challenges will teach others as well as themselves.
They will teach patience, love, empathy, service, strength, humility, hope and joy.
They will also be the cause of sadness, despair, anguish.
They will be the children who face medical issues.
They will face surgeries, hospital stays, illness, invasive treatments.
They will not be able to do what everyone else does.
Some will face radiation, chemotherapy, medications that make them sick.
Some will never walk, talk, see, hear, or eat by themselves.

Some will not live as long as others.
Some will be frail, weak, sickly.
But they will have the strength of warriors, even when their parents are spent.
They will have the courage of lions, protecting their pride.
They will smile, and the heavens will open up and shine down.
They will cry, and then smile the next moment.
They will wipe their mothers tears,  and make a joke to make their father smile.

These special spirits are sent down to do a mighty work.
And they know what they will be going through.
They know they will be facing challenges beyond comprehension.


This is when I told Kumaka that he was one of those spirits.
He knew what his journey would be like.
And he raised his hand, he chose that path.
Because he is special.
And all of those scars are the mark of the warrior.
They are reminders of his strength and courage.
They are our reminders too.