Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Spina Bifida day 24 Tanner's Story

Dear Life,

Next up is a cutie boy named Tanner.  He's a little younger than Kumaka...I have enjoyed watching  him grow and do amazing things for years.   His mommy and I  have been friends on the support group since Tanner was born.  

Tanner was born December 15, 2008.  

We found out that there may be a
"problem" with our baby boy at our 20 week ultrasound.
We were given no other information and had to wait an excruciating 4 weeks to find out what that "problem" was.

At 24 weeks we were told that our baby had Spina Bifida.  I will never forget the way it was presented to us. The doctor came in, looked at us, and said "Your baby boy has Spina Bifida, he'll have no quality of life, when would you like to abort?"

That sentence that the doctor said with such ease, took the breath right out of me. My husband and I looked at each other, and I started to cry.  My sweet husband then said "We are not going to abort, we are leaving."  And we
did, and didn't go back. I went to a new specialist, one that was more positive than I could have asked for who never asked if we wanted to terminate the pregnancy.  What a
difference that made!

In the following weeks after we found out, I blamed myself.  Knowing deep down I did nothing wrong, but still wishing I could change things. I was devastated, and consumed myself with worry about all the unknowns.

Today my, Tanner is almost 4.  He is a big brother, and he is so AMAZING! Tanner is so spunky, funny, and loving!  He may not walk, but he rolls faster than I can walk. 

And I find myself running after him!  He has taught
me so much about loving every minute of life, and not to overlook the small things. That Doctors don't know everything. To take joy out of everyday things, and to live life freely.

Looking back now, I wish I would have enjoyed my pregnancy more and worried less. Spina Bifida is not a death sentence. It's a door into an amazing world that not everyone gets to experience.  Yes, there are extras. But the
extras are WORTH IT!!

4 years ago, I thought my world was over. But little did I know, my world was just beginning.  Just beginning with a child that I'm proud to call my son.

 "God doesn't give children with special needs to strong people; He gives children with special needs to ordinary, weak people and then gives them strength. Raising a child with special needs doesn't take a special family, it makes a special family."

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