Sunday, September 28, 2014

Beautifully messy

Dear Life, 

Today, as we all started getting ready for church at 8:00 am (for 11:00 church) I was thinking "Yes! I got this. My daughter just got out of the hospital, and now I have to fit in not only feeding her by mouth, but feeding her via GTube as well, but we will get to church and on time!"  Kids started showering and getting ready as I first fed then did Sofis "Tubie" feeding. Time marched on but I knew we could do it. Sofi finished, I cleaned out the tubing, put water in it for her fluid hour at church, then got the princess ready. She was so cute in her denim dress, white tights with black hearts and black boots. Did her hair, put in a bow, then looked at the clock. I had 30 minutes before church started. Did I tell you we try to get there 20 minutes before so my husband can do his ushering calling and we can get seats? Yeah, enter stress. I took the fastest shower ever, picked out an outfit, and as I was putting makeup on as fast as humanly possible so I didn't scare anyone, one of my lovely boys told me to hurry up we had to go. I told him as nicely as I could that if I didn't put some makeup on my face I would scare everyone and they would leave church.  I hurried faster, put my shoes on as I ran out and off we went with four minutes to spare. By the time we walked in, church had just started. We made a commotion, what with the bright green wheelchair and big stroller and all, and then getting everyone situated. Finally, we took a breath and prepared to be spiritually fed. Once again I was feeling pretty good about myself. I hooked Sofi up to get her water over the hour long sacrament meeting and sat back and rocked her while listening. And then.....Tubie unhooked and I felt liquid on my skirt. Yeah.... Formula started pouring out of Tubie. Whispers of "clamp it.... Hurry's everywhere" could be heard. I realized then that I do not have it together. And then I gave myself some grace. I was where I needed desperately to be. My children were where they needed to be. My baby is getting healthier every day (even if I get messier)  and I got to hear my son receive a beautiful setting apart in the third hour for his new calling. 

Today was great. As I reflect I realize just how beautifully messy life is. And I wouldn't have it any other way. 


  1. I couldn't agree more... beautifully messy sums us up perfectly as well :).

  2. P.S. We were in the Disneyland bathroom and I was holding Madi to get her pull-up all the way up. It's kind of...messy... anyhow because of her vesicsotmy and the fact she's about 50 pounds and I can't/won't lay her down in a public bathroom. Anyhow. We have a system, and it works... mostly. I felt my shirt get soaked and realized she hadn't fully pushed her urine out before I held her up to me. Messy, yes, but we were at Disneyland! We had a WEEK of no appointments, no therapies, and so much fun. And that is beautiful, pee and all :)


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