Miracles

Dear Life,

Do you believe in miracles?  
I do.
I have for years.
First watching "Little" (Kumaka) as he navigates boy hood full force.

Remembering the baby years....the multiple shunt revisions...the casts for months on end (that lasted for years)...the surgery after surgery to correct feet....and then hips....and then broken bones....the ongoing infections.

I never in a million years would have imagined Kumaka to be this active....this happy....this....BOY LIKE.  

There is not a "can't do" moment....it's a how can I attitude. 

The last few years have been truly miraculous to watch and given us much joy.

Then, we embarked on the adoption journey.

Did we have the necessary funding in our account just waiting?
No.
But Sofi was waiting.
And we determined that she would wait no more for someone to be her family.
We fell in love with her....and decided that we would do whatever it took to bring her home.

And we did.
Everything we could think of.
Cupcake days, shoe drives, clothing drives, pizza days, jewelry giveaways, TV Raffles, Helmet Raffles, etc etc etc.

We have driven to Los Angeles more times than we can count to get paperwork taken care of.  We have cried, laughed, and prayed harder than ever.

And then our court date happened.

We didn't get a "Now she's yours moment".
We got a continuance.
We needed current fingerprint clearances from the FBI.  
At the time we needed them, our government was shut down. So we got state clearances and prayed they would work.
They didn't.

SO....the day we had court and didn't pass, Stuart and I rushed to the police station to get our fingerprints done.  I then rushed to get money orders and had them sent next day to the FBI.  

When I knew the received them I called to beg for them to expedite.  
Normally fingerprint clearances take 6-8 weeks.
I didn't have that kind of time.
We begged, my agency begged, and we found someone to do them.
They sent them out on December 24th.

BUT they sent them to the wrong place.
So yesterday and today we have been in a panic trying to figure what to do.
Right when my  head bowed, and my tears flowed, because Sofi's fate was to be put in the hands of the judge....again...
God stepped in.
The documents were found.  My money orders were found.
The State Department is helping us by expediting our paperwork.  
They will get there in time.
By a hair.  
That's all we need.

Yes, I believe in miracles.  
I believe in people.
Because throughout this journey, I have witnessed the goodness of people all over this world.  

I am a better person because of this journey.

Miracles are real.  
You just have to believe.

 

Gratitude

Dear Life,

As Thanksgiving draws near, I have been thinking about my family.
I have been thinking about my children.
I have been thinking about how very grateful I am that we live in a free country, with the knowledge we have and the medical advances our medical teams have.
I have been thinking how very grateful I am that we are allowed to make choices.
The choice to keep a child that was born with extras.
The choice to teach that child that he or she can do whatever they want to do in life.
The choice to teach them to dream.

I am thankful for all of those people who helped our little man last year.
Those that supported him, visited him, read to him, walked with him, and loved him.
By the end of the year last year, we felt so much support and love, and we knew that although he was not out of the woods with his hips and leg, he would be ok.
We knew that somehow, we had to give back.
We had to find a way to help another child.
A child that needs a family.
A child that had no hope.
A child that had no dreams.

I am thankful for Sofi.
When we looked at her picture, looked in her eyes and into her soul,
We knew that we could take care of this child.
We knew that we could be her family.
We knew that we could give her hope.
We knew that we could show her how to dream.

I am thankful for our caseworker.
When we told her we wanted to adopt, she told us we could do it.
When we told her we didn't know how we would fund it, she told us we could fundraise.
So we did.
We told Sofi's story.
Over and over and over again.
We have written, shared, cried, laughed and been amazed.
We have collected shoes, clothing, had pizza nights, picture days, cupcake days, Ruby's days, jewelry fundraisers, you name it and we've done it.  (Except garage sales.  I hate garage sales)
We have raised over $25,000.

I am thankful for you.
You have listened to us write about Sofi.
You have cried with us.
You have shared our words.
You have participated in our fundraisers.
You have loved this girl as we do.
You have given.
And given again.
Because of you, I got to visit her in October.
Because of you, she will be home in January.
Because of you, there will be one less orphan.
Because of you, she will have a family.
Because of you she will have hope.
Because of you she can dream.

There will never be enough words to thank those that have been a part of this story.
Sofi's story.
She is almost here.
We are so close.
We are $750 away from being fully funded with our agency.
Then we only need a few thousand more to fly over and bring her home.
Our flights are paid for, we just need to pay for hers, for her medical clearances, the driver to pick her up (she is six hours from the capitol) and then she will be here.

Consider helping us finish this.
Consider giving one more time.
Consider Sofi coming home in Januaray.
Consider her safe.
Consider her loved.
Consider you....a part of her.

Thank you.

She has a story

 Dear Life,

When I met Sofi in that orphanage, and heard a small part of her story, I realized that this little girl was being saved for a reason.  Her story is just beginning, and yet, her story started at birth.  

Sofi was born to a young girl, 14 years of age.  She was born prematurely, and didn't breathe well right away.  She started having seizures that lasted for five days.  Finally, the doctors did surgery, and put a shunt in to relieve her hydrocephalus.   Sofi was five days old, and she had already fought hard to live.  And sadly, she went through all of that alone.  In a crib in the hospital, scared, barely alive, and alone.  There was no one there to make sure she was being cared for, no one to hold her little hand, no one to advocate for her, no one to hear her cries.  When she was finally stable, two weeks later, she was sent to a large orphanage.  It was there that she was left in a crib.  For two years.  She was only fed through a bottle.  Her body started to become stiff and rigid from not being taken out of the crib.  Not surprisingly, she never spoke, she never smiled, she barely existed.  That was her life for two years.  In December 2011, she was moved to the home she is at now.  There are only 7 children there, and they worked hard to change things for her.  Under their care, after many months,  she started to make a few sounds, and they taught her to eat mashed up food with a spoon. She started to smile.  

Early in 2012, Nina, our caseworker with Children's House International, first saw Sofi's file.  Below  is her part in Sofi's story.

"Before Sofi Rose became Sofi she was my Liliana.  Liliana was one of a group of children whose information I received in 2012 after I had visited Bulgaria.   Her foundation had heard my story of my love for my niece and nephew who were also born with neural tube defects.   They knew my eyes were open to the possibilities and potential these children had if they were loved and educated.  So, her foundation began requesting the profiles of children like Sofi that they knew I would fight to find families for.   Sofi's information was one page of medical information and a single photo.  Her orphanage was far from the capital and her information was grim.  She was a tiny girl who had not yet met any milestones.  Nobody visited her.   Nobody bothered to go see this small girl.  So with my one photo and my one page of information I decided this tiny girl deserved a fierce name.  In some cultures the weakest babies are given the names of saints as protection.   I decided to call Sofi Liliana as an alias.  Liliana Panitza was a heroine of great strength in Sofi's home country.  Liliana Panitza was instrumental on defying Hitler during WWII to save the lives of 50,000 Jews.  She was not in a position of great power.  She was just a girl inner strength an conviction.    What better name for Sofi,  who had nothing,  than to call her by the name of a woman who saved so many.  For over a year nobody inquired about Sofi.  I would speak to families about her and invariably the families would decline interest.  Until the day Tracy called.  I believe I sent her information on several girls.  Sofi's information was in the group. "

We received files of a few girls.  We scrolled  through the files,  looking for the pictures. Suddenly, we stopped, entranced by  this adorable baby, dressed in blue.  Her eyes were large, and so wonderfully brown.  Her eyes captured us, and there was no turning back.  

We started on this journey of adoption, having only read that one page of medical history, and seen one baby picture.

We prayed daily, praying for her health, for her to feel our love through the miles.  I would like to think that somehow, those prayers were answered.  When I traveled the many hours to meet Sofi, she was much different than I expected.  She was able to respond a little, she smiled a lot, and she had a few sounds.  The home she lives in is clean, bright, and decorated colorfully.  

It was while I was visiting her that I learned about Sofi's earlier years.  And I wept for her.  For the two year old that fought valiantly to live despite all of the odds stacked against her.  When I learned that she should have had medicals done yearly, but it appeared that those were never done, I realized that the other orphanage expected her to die.  

Almost like a physical blow, I felt so strongly that Sofi's story is huge.  That this amazing little girl has a huge story...and it's just starting.  That she survived the odds stacked against her because God held her in His hands, protected her, and then placed her in this home until we came along.  There is no other explanation.  

Sofi may never tell her story.  But we will.  We are so blessed to be able to do so.  And all because of you.  
We are so very close.  

She's almost home.  Her story is changing once again, but for the better.  She won't have to fight alone anymore.  She won't have to shed silent tears.  She will reach out and I will hold her hand. 

 She will laugh and we will laugh with her.  Her joy will be our joy.  Her joy will be your joy too.  

If you have wondered why we fight so hard to bring her here, why we continue to come up with all these crazy fundraisers, now you know.  She fought harder than we ever will, and she fought alone.  We are not alone, we have an army.  An army of wonderful, loving people.  An army to bring home a girl. 
You are in our army.

The questions

Dear Life,

The past year has been quite tumultuous.  
I mean, we have five boys....how could it not be.
And then...the wacky people that we are...decided it would be a great idea to bring one more child into our crazy life.
We've been asked these two questions a lot:

WHY?
and  
HOW?

Why? 
Because once we started asking about adoption, questioning the process, once we saw those brown eyes, we knew we had to.
She had no one else.
Not one other family had ever requested her file.
We were all she had.
And she had our heart from that first scroll down the page...the first moment we saw her.
Our hearts were hers.
Because we know how to love a child.
Because we know how to care for a child with Spina Bifida.
Because we are asked to care for the orphaned.
Because we can.
And maybe the better question is  WHY NOT?

How?
Bringing her would be a challenge.
That we knew.
We told our facilitator that we did not have the money needed to fund an adoption.
She told us we could fundraise and then ask for grants.
We thought about it.
And we knew we could do it...and we would do it for Sofi.
So we thought, we prayed, and we thought some more.
We thought of many ways we could raise money.
People thought of ways for us.
We prayed, cried, and asked.
We have been able to come up with everything as needed.
We have tried things, some worked some didn't and some were wildly successful.
Ultimately, we have felt love, support and friendship in the journey.
How you ask?
With God's grace, His hand in all we do, His comfort when it's hard, His strength to get back up when we are down, and His love reminding us why.

Grateful for this journey...grateful for the hundreds of people that are holding our hands and helping us forward....grateful to a loving Heavenly Father who is watching over us and smiling down.

Going on a Jet Plane

Dear Life,

I have been checking my email twenty times a day for months now.

Waiting.

There are many emails there...but never the one I want.

I continued to check.

Waiting.

I check first thing in the morning...and I check at midnight before I go to sleep.

Waiting.

Today was different.

I checked my email this morning.

And it was there.

The one.

The wait is over.

We have a referral.



What does that mean?

It means Sofi's country is saying yes.

You are okay people...

And you may come to visit her.

It means dates.

We will be picking dates in the next few days.

It means weeks.

In weeks we will be visiting her for the first time.



September

In September my friend and I are going to visit her for a week.

For five days I will get to hold her, play with her, talk to her, read to her, and take her for walks.

For five days I will get to gaze at her face and try to remember every nuance.

For five days my friend will take as many pictures as she can so I don't forget a moment.

For five days I will be in heaven.

And on the sixth day I will be torn in half again.

I will have to leave her.



For now, we are focusing on that moment we fly across the world...to meet this beautiful girl that spoke to our hearts through the computer screen.

We have come far.

We have eaten cupcakes.

We have eaten pizza.

We have sold raffle tickets for a hand made pendant.

We have sold owls.

We have counted shoes.

A lot of shoes.

We have collected clothing.

We have begged, pleaded, and cried...fundraising for this little girl.


You all have not left us stranded.

You all have helped us every step of the way.

We are asking for your help again.

We are needing to pay for this trip...the flight alone is $1000.

Stuart is staying home to help cut on the cost of our trip, and one of my dear friends is going instead.

We are saving our pennies.

But we can't do it without you.

Here are the ways you can help.



First and foremost you can pray....pray that she stays healthy...pray that we get funded...pray that we get there safely.

Second...if you are local you can donate used clothing, bedding, belts, purses, backpacks duffel bags, and curtains.

Third....you can sponsor puzzle pieces.  There are two...one is to win a Kindle Fire $3 each piece...and the other is for two 1 day Disneyland Park Hopper tickets for $5 each. (once those are all sold we can buy our plane tickets) Please use our YouCaring site for this and mention how many tickets and which kind.

Fourth...you can click on this link  http://www.igive.com/button/ and allow it to add on to your browser (it does not download anything on your computer.  When the iGive banner comes up in the right hand corner when you are shopping, simply click it...and we will get a small percentage of your purchase.  So simple!

Fifth...you can donate straight to Sofi's YouCaring account:







We've witnessed miracles already.

Read this post for a walk down miracle lane: A miracle in shoes
We know that Sofi is supposed to come here.

Please consider helping us see miracles again.

How can you love her like you love me?

Dear Keoni, Kekoa, Kalani, Kawika, and Kumaka,

One of you asked me a very important question yesterday.

"How do you love Sofi as much as you love me?  You've never even met her!"

I thought about that question a lot yesterday.

When I was pregnant  I didn't know any of you.
The only picture I had was a grainy ultrasound picture.
I didn't know how tall you would be.
I didn't know what your gifts would be.
I didn't know what your challenges would be.
I only knew that I loved you from the time you existed.

That is not much different than our love for Sofi.
We have an outdated photograph.
I don't know if she will ever talk or walk.
I don't know if she will ever smile.
I don't know if she will even bond with me the way I dream of.
I do know that I have loved her since I knew of her existence.
Although I don't  share her DNA, we share something more important....
LOVE

Adoption is much like 9 months of pregnancy.
You can either gain weight or lose weight (emotional eating or depression fasting)
You experience extreme mood swings.
You are prone to crying for no reason.
You wait for what seems like an eternity until you get to hold your child....

And then your life is never the same.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

A voice for Hayden...

Dear Life,

Meet Hayden.

She is 7 years old.  

Her picture does not do her justice.

These are the things you see when you look at her picture:

She looks so sad and sickly.  

Her brown eyes look so forlorn.

The purple smudges under her eyes speak of poorly treated anemia.

She has Spina Bifida and Hydrocephalus. And they are both untreated.  Her back is still open and her hydrocephalus is unshunted.

What you can't see in the picture...she loves to play ball.
She loves to cuddle.
She expresses joy.
She dances to music.

In spite of it all.

Her brown eyes could sparkle...she could smile more....if she had parents to love her.

Her cheeks could get plump, and the purple smudges could go away...if she had parents to love her.

Her recurring UTI's could go away, and her kidneys could stay healthy...if she had parents to love her.

Are you her mommy?  Will you be dancing with Hayden?

If you would like to know more about Hayden, please contact Nina Thompson at Children's House International. (nina.thompson@chiadopt.org)

What's new

Dear Life,

We have done some number crunching...and we have figured out that we are HALFWAY there!!!  Isn't that AMAZING????
Shoes really really really made the difference!  (So much so that my husband is wanting to do another shoe drive..hmmm...I think we need more creative ideas!!)

Basically...we need a couple thousand more Euros for our agency in Sofi's country, $1500 for our Post Adoption Reports, the money for Sofi's Visa, and travel.  It's amazing....to think we are halfway there!!!

Our homestudy is complete, we are just waiting for the final draft to be sent to us.  Then we can send it to USCIS (US immigration) for them to put our file together.
Once that is done, we send them our I800 (immigration forms) and our dossier (big fat file of Jensen facts) and send them off to Eastern Europe to be translated and sent to court.

We are hoping to visit Sofi for the first time at the end of the summer or early fall.

We can't wait.

We are so grateful for all of the love, support and prayers all of you have given us.  We are so grateful that there are so many people that are a part of Sofi's story.  Thank you.