Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Kindness begins with....

Dear Life,

Have you ever been in a room with someone with a disability and felt awkward?
Did you stare and then look away when you got caught?
Did you purposefully avert your eyes?
Did you avoid that person?
Did you smile?
Did you say hello?

How  do you interact with people normally?
Do you ignore others in a busy waiting room?
Do you smile and say hi?
Do you stare at people?
(I am admittedly a people I am taking myself to task!)

Having a child with a disability has opened my eyes to many things.  
I have learned that I am not tolerant when I'm cranky.
I'm usually cranky at doctor's offices.
I don't go out of my way to make people comfortable enough to say hi to me.
And I get frustrated when people stare.
And then I realize that I have been guilty of staring.
We all probably have.
It's human nature.
We are a curious people.
I know that personally, I would rather someone smile at us, and talk to Kumaka than ignore or stare without even a smile.
I love to answer questions, if they are kind and in good taste.
I love educating people about Spina Bifida and I love talking about Kumaka.
I promise to smile first, if you promise to say hi and talk to us.
I promise to be kind and answer your questions to the best of my ability.
I know Kumaka loves it when your kids come over to play, so please don't call them back to you, it hurts his feelings.
And he might  say really loudly "Mom, that guy is staring at me" to which I will say loudly "It's ok honey, wave and say hi!". 
(that happened this week)
And please...if my other kids are with me, say hi to them too!  Everyone ignores them all together because their eyes are naturally drawn to Kumaka.  My kids are pretty cute...and would love a little hello once in awhile! :)

I've realized that kindness begins with I promise to do my part....

Here is our collage....I LOVE IT~

And I want to direct you to a relatively new online magazine.  It is a wealth of information....great articles and growing info about support groups, blogs, etc in your area in regards to Spina Bifida.
Faces of Spina Bifida was started by a couple of talented women.  I am blessed enough to have been asked to write for them.  YAY!  I'm so excited about this opportunity.  These women have foresight, and will help our community so much! I look forward to working with them!  


  1. I love this Tracy. I am always the one who is the peacemaker. I look for others who I can encourage and if someone makes eye contact I feel the urge to say hello and engage lovingly with them. I can relate to the staring and knowing glances that people are watching you. With Aleshanee, she is almost 7 but has looked like she was 8 yrs old at 5 yrs old. She is cognitively delayed and has perception dysfunction as well. She was tested at a 2 yr old level at age 5. Anyway, so all of this goes unknown to strangers who see her whining, getting impatient, wanting to cling to me or be held in my lap as a baby would when we are out in public. I need to keep reminding myself that she is our beautiful perfect child and we know and God knows her special abilities. That's all that should matter but sometimes it hurts.

    Thanks for sharing this. :)

    1. It's hard to watch people stare...thank you for sharing your perspective!

  2. This is a beautifully written post. I appreciate and the reminder it contains. I am usually so shy that is why I wouldn't say anything, but this shows me that it would probably be beneficial to everyone to go out of my way ( and comfort zone) to say hi to everyone.

    1. I understand shyness *well not me personally, but I have shy is difficult to go outside of that and say hi...and it's hard to not take things personally when you're on the staring end of stuff..we all have stuff to work on! :) THank you for sharing.

  3. visiting from FB Follow along Friday!

    1. Welcome....I hope to get to know you better!

  4. Beautifully said.... Most days I pretend that they aren't staring. I just ignore them and hope Brendan doesn't notice. Or I gladly answer their questions with a smile. But the other day we were at Cabella's and this woman nearly screwed her head off watching Brendan as she walked past. Secretly I was praying that she'd walk into something! But she finally came to a stop and just kept staring, so I tried the "stare back at her until she realizes she's rude" stare.... and she was so intent on staring that she never even noticed that I was!! This went on for a looong time!! haha! Some people...

  5. Thank you for the reminder that kindness starts with us! :)

    1. :) Thank you! It's true...and I'm big enough to admit I need to work on it!

  6. Thank you so much for stopping by my blog :)
    Your children are absolutely adorable and your post is so insightful. Thank you :D


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