Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Letter to Keoni

Normally I would start my post Dear Life...but today this post is to my son...and you all get to read it.  (Tell me if I need to reword it okay?)

Dear Keoni,

I look at this picture and it makes me think about the last almost 18 years and I really wonder what you remember.  When it was just you and I do you remember how much fun we had?  We had play dates galore, sometimes with friends and sometimes just us. 
 For three years it was just the three of us.  And we had a blast!  There were things I remember about you as a baby.
You were musically inclined even then.  You beat your spoon on the table to the beat of your favorite song perfectly (whenever Grandma wasn't looking).  That has only grown...and now as I see you all grown up I wish you could see what I see.  I wish you believed me when I tell you that you have a talent that not everyone has.  I pray you discover that gift while you are out discovering the world.
You are a hot head.  You used to get so mad when you were just a young would get frustrated and bang your head on the floor.  Thankfully that stage has ended, and remind me to have you patch up the holes in the walls before you leave.  Thankfully that stage is over too.  
You are a passionate young man, but you try to hide it under a mask of cool indifference.  You don't fool me.
I hope you know that all the times I have gotten angry, upset, sad, mad, frustrated, etc etc etc is because I love you.  I am not perfect. 
I have made mistakes. 
A lot of them.
I hope you forgive me one day.
I hope you know how much joy your life has brought into mine. 
I hope you know how much I'm going to miss you.
I hope you know how proud I am of you.
I will miss your hugs.
I will miss your dry humor.
I will miss the bargains you make with me.
I will miss looking deep into your beautiful brown eyes and seeing that little boy I brought into this world.
I will miss your adorable curly hair...but not miss having to deal with making sure you have it cut and brush it once in awhile.  I'm so interested to see what you will look like in Hawaii!
I don't know if I've prepared you enough for this journey...but I want you to know that I am a phone call away.  ANYTIME of the day.  
I believe in you.
I know you can do this.
Find happiness.
Find joy.
Remember us....and know I love you.
You are not alone...


PS Please text me or call me occasionally (would be GREAT if you didn't need money when that happened) 

and work hard and HAVE FUN!


  1. Awwwww....I love this post. I have tears in my eyes thinking I will be feeling this way one day.My children are 4 and 2.

    Great post.
    Hang in there!

    1. Time goes by so quickly..when I look at his pics now and his pics from before it makes me a little sad I didn't treasure every moment. It's sounds so cliche!

  2. Awesome.... and you are doing a WAY better job of facing reality than I am!! Brianna leaves at the end of July and I am still in denial! Could help that she hasn't decided exactly WHERE she is going, so it is easier to be in denial for me :-)


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