Monday, March 25, 2013
Facing the crossroads
I feel like I need to share this story. I can't explain everything, only pieces of it. But we have all in our life felt the adversary work against us. We have felt anger, and we have felt like we have had our power stripped. Two weeks we found ourselves in an emotional wasteland. We found ourselves dealing with a problem we never thought we would have to deal with. And as parents we were angry. We were angry at the situation, but found ourselves projecting anger at a lot of people. One night, at the height of it, the frustration and anger was palpable. I went into the kitchen, away from where everyone else was, and I prayed. I could tell our family right in that moment could fracture...that our beliefs and all we hold dear was being tested. I felt that we were literally on the crossroads...and one side the adversary was opening the door big and wide...and the other side the door was open but I had to walk further to get there. I wept, and literally sank to my knees and begged God to help me...to help me figure out a way to strengthen my family...to get past this horror. I have never ever felt the presence of the adversary so strong in my life. I knew that if I did not work hard to bring my boys and my husband close, hold them, love them, and make sure we were drawing closer to the Lord we would go down a completely different path...and not the right path. After I closed my prayer, I stood up, figuratively pulled up my big girl panties, and called my family in for family prayer. After that day, every day I feel closer and closer to my Heavenly Father. I know that He has a plan, that He will guide our family through this. My anger has subsided...and I feel like we have locked the door against the adversary (even though he was laughing at us so hard that night). We have sadness, and we have frustration, but the anger has definitely diminished. I am so grateful for the gospel, for the knowledge that we have that God loves us, that Jesus Christ is our Savior, and that through the resurrection all things can be OK. That all of our hurts and wounds have been felt by our Savior...and that we can be whole once again. Without the gospel, the last few weeks would kept us in emotional wasteland. So so grateful for the gospel. So grateful.