Saturday, September 21, 2013

How can they say that Mom?

Dear Life,

Have you ever had a conversation with a small child when all of a sudden a very deep topic comes up?


And you say a quick prayer as you delve into that topic with this child....hoping your answers are enough.

Because lets face it people...just because we are parents DOES NOT MEAN WE HAVE THE ANSWERS.

I know...I just said that out loud. 
*we don't have to tell the kids that, though!

Today I had a date with this kid before his theater class.

We were talking about Sofi, and why her mommy gave her up for adoption.
I told him that her mommy couldn't take care of her, so she did what she thought was best for the baby.
Then Kawika surprised me.
"Mom, what does it mean to terminate?"

I caught my breath for a moment. goes.

"Terminating a pregnancy is when a mother decides she doesn't want her baby and the doctors give her medicine and the baby dies."

"Mommy, why do doctors tell mommies that it is ok to do that?"

(My kid was full of really hard questions today)

Well son, women fought really hard to be able to make choices about their bodies, and everyone has the right to end a pregnancy if they want to, even if we don't believe that it is right.

"Mommy, why can't the mommies stay pregnant and then give their babies to another family?"

(Can you believe ten year old is saying these things!)

"Doctors have to tell parents when they see something is wrong with the baby.  Sometimes people think that the baby will not live a good life, that the baby will not be able to do a lot of things.  Sometimes people think that is the only option they have."

And here is where it gets golden people....

"Mommy, a doctor can't tell how the baby's life is going to be.  I mean, look at Kumaka.  He does everything he wants to do.  He's happy.  He does more than I do!  People should know that their babies can do whatever they want to do!"

I kissed his face....and I cried a little...hearing such simple truths...such wise answers....coming from a ten year old boy.
He amazed me today.  And really gave me a lot to think about.

I thought about all of our Spina Bifida friends.  
Each one is unique.
Each one has interests in different things.
And if the given the opportunity, each one will be able to achieve anything.

There's the flipper, the writer, the extreme athlete, the poster boy, the fearless one, the runner, the actress, the associate film producer, and the list goes on.  If you heard these names for other children, you wouldn't think anything of it.  

The parents of these children were told that their children would not be able to be productive....that they would not be able to do things that other children do.
And sometimes that's the case.
More often, they just do things differently.

And sometimes different can be a pretty awesome thing.


  1. You have a special young man there. Very insightful. The statistics scare me, how many babies with spina bifida are aborted. We were told to "terminate", that our child would be a burden. It's amazing how he is our happiest child. He has touched many peoples lives. Thank you for sharing, Tracy.

  2. I happened to visit your blog after a long time and am so glad I came. Such a beautiful post....Thankyou! I feel so good just reading it.... :) Love


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