Kinder (sniff) garten

Dear Life,

This week has been a fantastical crazy week of getting my kids off to school. 
I felt totally prepared on Tuesday night.....lunches made....backpacks finished....clothes laid out...even went to sleep early. (This is not typical for me)
Woke up on time and everyone got ready and ate breakfast.  Before they went to school, Stuart sat each boy down and gave them a father's blessing.

(A father who holds the Melchizedek Priesthood may 

give father’s blessings to his children. These blessings

 may be especially helpful when children go to school,

 go on missions, get married, enter military service, or 

face special challenges. A family may record a father’s 

blessing for family records, but these blessings are 

not preserved in Church records. Parents should 

encourage their children to seek father’s blessings in

 times of need.)

He gave Kumaka his blessing first.  This is the first time Kumaka actually understood what was going on.  He sat in his wheelchair, folded his arms, and occasionally opened up his eyes to peek at his father while he was receiving his blessing.  All of a sudden, Kumaka starts to tear up....and then starts quietly crying.  The spirit was so strong in the room...the tears started flowing down everyone's face.  I held out my hand to Kumaka as Stuart finished his blessing.  As everyone else got their blessings, Kumaka was still very emotional.  It was touching to see him feel the spirit so strongly. (We talked about it later and explained to him what he was feeling)

The bus came, and we loaded Kumaka up, took a picture, and then followed the bus to his school.  (Annual tradition)
And that's where the picture perfect beginning of the school year spiraled for me.  
Kumaka has been placed in Special Education due to his orthopedic impairments.  He is supposed to be included in a typical classroom twice a day for a total of an hour.  That was the school's idea not mine.  I want to see him in a typical classroom all the time. We needed to discuss his placement in Kindergarten before school started, and have an IEP to legally put in place everything he needs, but that didn't happen.  I realized that my boy had to go to the Special Day Class for most of his day....and as I watched the cute little twins in their cute matching dresses go to another classroom, and the other adorable little boy march smartly to his regular classroom, the tears came unbidden.  Kindergarten is a huge milestone....you look so forward to sending your child off to school with a sweet little note and a lunch all made up...and you hope he makes friends in his new classroom and his teacher is nice.  I didn't count on getting blindsided by watching the kindergarten classes all lined up outside waiting excitingly for their teacher to come get them...with their parents taking pictures with big smiles on their faces...and wish my boy was with them instead of the special class.  I didn't get to go to the classroom to take a picture of him at his desk.  I came home and mourned that loss.  I felt like a train ran me over.  

Yes, I know that my son has a few extras.  I know that he needs different accommodations than other kids.  But sometimes...just sometimes...I look at him and think "he's just a boy who happens to use a wheelchair"....and I forget about some of the other things that goes on.  

Being an advocate for your child

Dear Life,


As parents, sometimes you are forced into situations that you don't feel comfortable with.  I will say after 8 years of working with my oldest who has ADD with both IEP's and 504's I cringe when those acronyms come up.  My stomach starts to churn and I start to throw up in my mouth.  


Below is the definition of both terms and the subtle differences. 

IEP Defined

The Individualized Educational Plan (IEP) is a plan or program developed to ensure that a child who has a disability identified under the law and is attending an elementary or secondary educational institution receives specialized instruction and related services.

504 Plan Defined

The 504 Plan is a plan developed to ensure that a child who has a disability identified under the law and is attending an elementary or secondary educational institution receives accommodations that will ensure their academic success and access to the learning environment.

Subtle but Important Differences

Not all students who have disabilities require specialized instruction. For students with disabilities who do require specialized instruction, the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) controls the procedural requirements, and an IEP is developed. The IDEA process is more involved than that of Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act and requires documentation of measurable growth. For students with disabilities who do not require specialized instruction but need the assurance that they will receive equal access to public education and services, a document is created to outline their specific accessibility requirements. Students with 504 Plans do not require specialized instruction, but, like the IEP, a 504 Plan should be updated annually to ensure that the student is receiving the most effective accommodations for his/her specific circumstances.

When I started this process I didn't know ANYTHING and I assumed (wrongly) that the teachers and district would look out for my son and keep his best interest at heart. 
I thought that I didn't have to or need to really research, read, and question the teachers and administrators. 
I didn't realize that I don't have to sign anything until I am completely satisfied that my child will be getting the services he or she needs.  
I also didn't realize until too late that once the child goes into high school there are way too many students with issues and the only person that is going to advocate for your child and communicate with everyone is YOU.  
Call me a helicopter parent if you will, but the squeaky wheel gets the oil.   
Something I learned from my son's doctor this week:  limited funds at the K-12 schools means the less you advocate the less you will get.  Once your child gets into college there is unlimited funds and no one uses them (because the students don't advocate for themselves.)  
Don't listen to anyone...your child CAN be successful.  I had a doctor tell my son to his face that he would never get into the college he wanted to get into.  That changed my boy....he lost a lot of faith in himself after that.   


I have a whole lot of IEP's and 504's ahead of me...I have learned a few more things that I will share next time.  


Sorry for all of you folks who don't have kids or the need for this conversation.  I wish I could just talk about how to grow out my hair and which nail polish I want to wear...it would be WAY more fun! :)