Dear Life,
I have learned something so very important over the last month or so. I have learned that I am not in charge. I am not the shot caller. I can't control the universe.
WHAT????
It took me eighteen years of motherhood to realize that. This whole time I thought my kids were MY kids. I used to think that it was my job to teach them...to guide and direct them...to mold them and that they would be these awesomely wonderfully successful people and they would go the route I directed them and life would be great. I was right in some aspects....it is my job to teach them and guide them. And of course they are awesome and wonderful no matter what. But guess what people? They get to make their own decisions...and they will or will not tell you all about their life...
AND LIFE GOES ON....for you and them.
WHAT????
But that's not even THE most important thing. As I was guiding and teaching and mothering....(good bad and ugly)...my son was growing up and learning his own voice. And his story once he became an adult is now out of my hands. He's actually out of everyone's hands. Well that's not entirely true. He is in God's hands. He always has been, and he always will be. I have heard whispers...that have strengthened that testimony. I know that my boy is learning, growing, and he will be ok. I know there will be heartaches...I don't know how much he will share with me....but even though he's across the ocean....God has got him....and he will be ok. I am so grateful to know this. And I am grateful that for a time I was able to be his world. I am grateful that God gave me the opportunity to take care of one of His children. (well really five of them)
I read this quote today...and it totally fit where I am at right now....
Time passes quickly. Many parents say that it's like
yesterday that their children were born. Now those
children are grown, perhaps with children of their
own. Where did the years go? they ask. We cannot
call back time that is past, we cannot stop time that
now is, and we cannot experience the future in our
present state. Time is a gift, a treasure not to be put
aside for the future but to use wisely in the present.
~Thomas S. Monson
I am going to spend my time treasuring my children now....before they go off on their own.
Dear Life,
Yesterday I wrote a blog post with the prompt Story....you can read about it here.
Today I have another story to write. It's the story of a mother. A mother who's heart is full....and yet empty.
When you have your first child, you are so excited to have this sweet little baby in your arms. Your story has begun....as you have become a mother and your child is intertwined with your heart and your story is also intertwined.
You anxiously await for each milestone...checking them off as your baby accomplishes them.
First smile...
First time rolling over...
First time you fed them...
First time standing...
First time walking...
And it progresses...
First time going to school...
First date...
First time driving...
And then it happens.
They graduate high school.
When on earth did this happen? How did the time go by so quickly?
And then the impossible happens....
They go off to college.
They become adults.
They move on.
Your heart breaks.
And although you are so happy, so excited for your child's story to begin....
You are sad for his story with you is now different.
He doesn't look for you to solve his problems anymore.
You aren't his world anymore.
He will write his own story now...
I am so proud of my son...
For he has taken an important step in adulthood and gone off to college.
My heart misses him so very much though.
Yesterday I expected him to come out of his bedroom.
He never did.
Today I remembered him blessing the sacrament at church...
He wasn't there.
His memories are all around me while he is creating new ones for himself.
This is the time our stories go separate ways...
We will meet up sometimes and create chapters...
And for that I can't wait.
I miss him terribly....and yet I am so excited for him.
Dear Life,
I have been gone awhile....and I am so sorry for that. I was spending very important time with my family....watching my oldest graduate....and sending him off to Hawaii to go to college. There are a lot of posts that I need to write about the last month, but for now I'm going to ease into blogging again with my favorite friday link up.
5 Minute Friday topic this week is: STORY
GO:
A few months ago I had an epiphany of sorts. I realized that everyone has a story....
A reason for why they are where they are at in their life.
I realized that if we all took the time to maybe understand other people's stories, other people's heartache and joys, we could understand the differences we have with each other.
If we all took the time to talk to each other, to listen to each other without judging, and to really hear one another, we could hear someone else's life story.
And understand.
Understand their pain, understand what shaped them, understand why there are emotional walls, understand why there has been differences of opinion, and instead of judging or being angry, just loving and appreciating the role that person has in your life.
Not expecting anything more than what he or she can give you.
But loving them regardless.
We all have a story.
We all have reasons we do things...
Or don't do things.
If everyone took the time to understand that...
The world would be a better place.
If we took the time to find out the story, to understand the person, life could possibly be a little easier to navigate.
What's your story?
STOP
