Learn

Dear Life,

I used to LOVE writing the Five Minute Friday Challenge.   It's been quite awhile since I've taken five minutes for anything....so I'm starting again TODAY! Kate's word prompt this week is 

learn.

Go:

This month I've had to learn to let go...
I took one of my son's to Hawaii to start his own adventure in life....
His adventure in college....
We spent an amazing week together....
During that week I saw him starting to stretch and grow.....
And when I left him (with tears coursing down my face)....
I knew it was my time to learn to let him go.....
It's his turn to learn....
To stretch....
To dream...
To get hurt...
To pick himself up and dust himself off...
To become a man.
I am learning to be a mom of a young man who is making his own choices, making his own memories, making his own path.
I am learning that letting go hurts like heck.
But I am also learning that it is the best thing for him.
I am so proud of my young man. 
He's an amazing kid.
I can't wait to see what he learns.
While I learn to be patient and watch.

Stop

If you want to read more about Five Minute Friday go HERE. 

Story....chapter two

Dear Life,


Yesterday I wrote a blog post with the prompt Story....you can read about it here.


Today I have another story to write.  It's the story of a mother.  A mother who's heart is full....and yet empty.


When you have your first child, you are so excited to have this sweet little baby in your arms.  Your story has begun....as you have become a mother and your child is intertwined with your heart and your story is also intertwined.


You anxiously await for each milestone...checking them off as your baby accomplishes them. 
First smile...
First time rolling over...
First time you fed them...
First time standing...
First time walking...


And it progresses...


First time going to school...
First date...
First time driving...


And then it happens.


They graduate high school.

When on earth did this happen?  How did the time go by so quickly? 

And then the impossible happens....
They go off to college.
They become adults.
They move on.
Your heart breaks.
And although you are so happy, so excited for your child's story to begin....

You are sad for his story with you is now different. 
He doesn't look for you to solve his problems anymore.
You aren't his world anymore.
He will write his own story now...


I am so proud of my son...
For he has taken an important step in adulthood and gone off to college.
My heart misses him so very much though.


Yesterday I expected him to come out of his bedroom.
He never did.
Today I remembered him blessing the sacrament at church...
He wasn't there.
His memories are all around me while he is creating new ones for himself.

This is the time our stories go separate ways...
We will meet up sometimes and create chapters...
And for that I can't wait.
I miss him terribly....and yet I am so excited for him. 

The clock is ticking...

Dear life,


Have you ever wished you could turn back time?

Most of the time I realize the futility of that thought.  Except for recently.


I realized something that is ROCKING my WORLD right now.


My life is getting ready to change 

DRASTICALLY.

It will continue to change every year from here on out. 


In four short months this boy









will be moving out....to another state....on an island....6 hours from me. 

Oldest and youngest.....

I have come to terms with that the best that I can.  I will miss this funny boy terribly (even if he doesn't believe it...it's true).

But what has thrown me for a loop is that in three years this boy will leave me for college destination unknown.

And then in three years from that this boy will leave me.

And in two years from that this boy will leave.

And then I will have to face the fact that at some point this one will leave me.

I just remember when each boy was born and I would anticipate each new milestone. Eagerly awaiting a first smile, a first standing moment, a first time walking.  I've gone from checking off milestones happily to wishing I could hang on to the hands of the clock for dear life.....because those days are going away.  

These innocent days of summer fun are going to be one child less fun.  

It's a strange time.  It's not something you can ever prepare for.  It makes me wish I kissed them more when they were smaller....

wished I got out and played with them more often....

wished I yelled less and listened more.  

Of course I still have time....

But the clock is ticking.