Thursday, April 12, 2012


Dear Life,

I am not close with my mother.  I'm a super vocal, outgoing, talkative person.  My mother is the exact opposite.  I've always known that my mom has struggled in her life; and she keeps her emotions to herself.  I think she's afraid to be hurt.  I've gone through the gamut of emotions when it comes to my mom; anger, frustration, sadness, aloofness.  I've always wanted to be closer to my mom, but how do you get past the great wall of China?

I've never tried before.  To be truthful, I didn't want to get hurt.  We have been at an impasse for years.  I call my mom to be able to report to my grandma that I called her.  We have the longest half an hour of awkward conversation; weather, animals, house, etc.  
Until last week. 
Last week I felt prompted to ask my mom about her story.  I've come to the conclusion that everyone has a story.  Our personal story makes us who we are...certain events in our story shape us; they are turning points.  They are our forks in the road.  

As I was talking to my mom, I actually had the guts to tell her that I really wanted to know her story.  I told her I wanted to understand her and that would only work if I knew her story.  She told me it wasn't pretty.  I told her I knew that, but I wasn't going to judge her.  I just want to know her, understand her, and have the opportunity to build a relationship with her.  She told me she has never told anyone her story.  Can you imagine?  I am such a blabber mouth, I could never hold any of it in.  (Hence the blog...I tell anyone who wants to listen about my life)  When she told me she wasn't ready, I understood.  It will take a lot for my mom to trust me enough to share her story with me.  I told her I am here when she is ready with no judgement, just an ear.  

I have often thought that the world would be a better place if we all took the time to understand each other; talk to one another; find out each other's stories.  Tolerance....begins with knowledge.  Knowledge begins with sharing....and listening.  

1 comment :

  1. How beautiful that you took that first step to let her know that you wanted to hear her story. Even if she doesn't share her story with you, you may be on the path to create a new relationship with her.


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