Dear Life,
Two weeks ago, my beloved grandmother passed away. My grandma was amazing. She wasn't raised to be the lovey dovey, sweet as pie grandma that one might think makes an amazing grandma. She was a no- nonsense, speak her mind grandma. She was frugal, and you knew when you went to her house you better not put your hands on the wall. But she was always there. ALWAYS.
She taught me to love God. She taught me about Jesus. Not in words, but in actions. She was a servant of God until the day she died. She served her church every single day. Literally until she went into the hospital. And even then, she tried to leave the hospital to finish what she was doing.
She taught me about unconditional love. She was a presence in our lives always. When I was little, she took us to church every Sunday. She gave us a dollar to put in the offering basket. After church, we would always go to breakfast. Such favorite memories. Once a year, her and my grandpa took my sister and I to Disneyland. We never got souvenirs, we ate at the burger places not the sit down restaurants, and she sure did love the Country Bear Jamboree (which I HATED as a kid), but it was a place that we went to with them. It was so fun. As we grew up, got married, had kids, she was always there for them. She went to promotions, graduations, soccer games, choir performances, baptisms, baby blessings, birthday parties, and anything else that was important to us.
She has been constant in our lives. Over the last few years, she has been sick, and she has missed my grandpa terribly. He passed away before he could meet Kumaka, in October 2006. She had been alone a long time. I knew that one day, she would have to leave our world, and go to the next, happy to see her husband and her family. We are all so sad that she is gone. There is a gaping hole where she used to be. But I am so very thankful for the gospel, for knowing that we can be together as a family again. I am thankful she is no longer suffering. And I am so thankful for every single thing she taught me while she was here. I asked my boys what they remember about grandma, and the first thing Kekoa said was she was always there. That is her legacy.
Dear Life,
When I went to church for the first time with Sofi, I got my feelings hurt. People didn't know what to do with her, what class she should go to, what to think. I mean, she was so teeny tiny, she didn't look like a five year old, she was like a baby.
I went into fight mode. This was my baby we were talking about. I spoke with our bishop expressing my frustration. Then I took a minute and realized I needed to TEACH people what to do, not ASSUME they know what to do when they see children that are disabled. I live with disability day in and day out. Most people don't. I forgot that. I was not being fair to those in our church. For that, I am so sorry. I took my sweet girl into Relief Society, dressed in her prettiest dress with her hair as perfect as could be, and introduced her to the women.
I shared her story. And with tears in my eyes I asked them to please consider taking turns with her so that I could go to class. I needed spiritual edification more than ever. The sisters were amazing. They got lists together and every week people took turns taking her to primary. I have since communicated with the Primary President to talk about the best placement for Sofi. Talking together, sharing what works and what doesn't, and putting aside my very tender heart to be able to not get my feelings hurt but hear what people are actually saying really helped me resolve our issue. Since then, our church has put a great article about how to reach out to those with disabilities. I love this article so much and it's applicable to so many areas. It's called "Reaching Out to Those with Disabilities-And Their Families" in the February 2015 issue of the Ensign. Please take a few minutes to read it. Its opened my eyes and touched my heart. It can be applied outside of a church environment as well. Be a friend, take the time to listen, be understanding. Parents of children or caretakers of adults that have disabilities are often exhausted, and don't realize that they need to take the time to explain what their life is like. I am so thankful for Sofi. She is such a bright light in our family. And we are so thankful to everyone who has taken the time to spend an hour with her, to sing with her, to ask how she's doing.
