Three Things Thursday/ January 14

 Dear Life,

I love Kristine from The Foley Fam Unedited and when I saw she was doing this fun linkup I decided I wanted to participate!  So here it goes.....I am going to talk about three things on my mind today:


1.
These days getting a smile from this sweet boy is not so easy.  He has been battling a huge battle: debilitating anxiety, depression, and psychosis 
Psychosis is a serious mental disorder characterized by thinking and emotions that are so impaired, that they indicate that the person experiencing them has lost contact with reality. People who are psychotic have false thoughts (delusions) and/or see or hear things that are not there (hallucinations). These are referred to as “positive” symptoms; “negative” symptoms like loss of motivation and social withdrawal can also occur.
This has caused our boy huge amounts of stress, and the inability to do the things he should be enjoying and participating in.  Even his very favorite thing, basketball, has been impaired.  It has been a horrible thing to watch, as we are helpless to do much but love him and encourage him.  We are incredibly proud of him.  He fights this battle daily.  It's the hardest thing I have ever witnessed. Going to watch basketball games with him is our way of getting him out and trying to encourage him.  This photo was last night, watching our varsity basketball team playing a game.  Does anyone else have had to deal with this horrible mental illness?  Wishing I could snap my fingers and make it go away.  

2.

Our little princess has officially been ours for exactly 2 years!!  I can't believe it's already been that long.  When she came home, she was weeks from her fourth birthday, and she weighed all of 20 pounds.  Now she weighs 35 pounds and has almost grown out of her 5T clothes!  It's been amazing to watch her growth.  She is so more alert and aware.  She plays with her toys and purposefully will touch our arms or hands.  Her smiles melt us....they are like rays straight from heaven.  We are so blessed to have in our family!

3. 

These two are training for the running portion of the Challenged Athletes Foundation triathalon in October.  Kumaka is the actual "runner" and Kalani will be his helper.  They run everyday and are enjoying spending this time together.  Yesterday they ran 2.8 miles in 22 minutes!!! So proud of them and their hard work.  The Triathalon is a fundraiser for CAF.  Their mission is:  

Established in 1997, the Challenged Athletes Foundation recognizes the athletic greatness inherent in all people with physical challenges and supports their athletic endeavors by providing unparalleled sports opportunities that lead to success in sports — and in life.

Kumaka has been so blessed by this organization and we are so very proud that he wants to help raise money and give back! Look for more from #TeamRockinWheelies throughout the year! 

A Confession

Dear Life,


When I went to church for the first time with Sofi, I got my feelings hurt.  People didn't know what to do with her, what class she should go to, what to think. I mean, she was so teeny tiny, she didn't look like a five year old, she was like a baby.  

 I went into fight mode.  This was my baby we were talking about.    I spoke with our bishop expressing my frustration.  Then I took a minute and realized I needed to TEACH people what to do, not ASSUME they know what to do when they see children that are disabled.  I live with disability day in and day out.  Most people don't.  I forgot that.  I was not being fair to those in our church.  For that, I am so sorry.  I took my sweet girl into Relief Society, dressed in her prettiest dress with her hair as perfect as could be, and introduced her to the women. 

 I shared her story.  And with tears in my eyes I asked them to please consider taking turns with her so that I could go to class.  I needed spiritual edification more than ever.  The sisters were amazing.  They got lists together and every week people took turns taking her to primary.  I have since communicated with the Primary President to talk about the best placement for Sofi.  Talking together, sharing what works and what doesn't, and putting aside my very tender heart to be able to not get my feelings hurt but hear what people are actually saying really helped me resolve our issue.  Since then, our church has put a great article about how to reach out to those with disabilities.  I love this article so much and it's applicable to so many areas.  It's called "Reaching Out to Those with Disabilities-And Their Families" in the February 2015 issue of the Ensign.    Please take a few minutes to read it.  Its opened my eyes and touched my heart.  It can be applied outside of a church environment as well.  Be a friend, take the time to listen, be understanding.  Parents of children or caretakers of adults that have disabilities are often exhausted, and don't realize that they need to take the time to explain what their life is like.  I am so thankful for Sofi.  She is such a bright light in our family.  And we are so thankful to everyone who has taken the time to spend an hour with her, to sing with her, to ask how she's doing.  

Hope

Dear Life,

When I met Sofi a year ago, I was so sad to see how very tiny she was. I didn't know at the time, but she only weighed 20 pounds at 4 years old. When I held her, she was so stiff, and she would arch her back because she was unused to someone holding her.  I didn't see any of that, I just saw her beautiful brown eyes and gorgeous smile. These pictures were from my visit. I wasn't allowed to share her face then. But look at her tiny fingers. 

I really had no idea what to expect when we brought her home. I knew that I fell in love even before that visit. That was enough. 

When I brought her home, my husband and my boys fell under her spell. They adored her. 

She was so fair, and so tiny. She didn't reach for anything, she really didn't do much. Oh but her smile lit up my world. This photo by Chelsea Abinante Photography shows a brand  new to America Sofi. She wouldn't even look at the camera. 

Isn't my family beautiful? I love them all so much. This photo is a few months later courtesy of Pics by Presley. She's smiling even more but still quite the photography challenge. 

Over the summer, Joanna Penney took this photo of her. A much more aware face.  She is so beautiful. We love her so. 

 

This was last weekend prior to the  surgery to place a Gtube in. She's looking at me and laughing.  She was playing with the hanging toy. She is now engaged in life around her. 

 This was from today. A day out of the hospital and already living it up at the beach. And already, both Stuart and I can tell a profound change in her. She has been tolerating her feeds, eating per mouth three times a day and has a GTube feeding 4 times a day. She is FULL. She is happy. She tracks with her eyes better. She has a lightness about her.  She holds her head up

more. It's amazing. 

I didn't want surgery for her, but thankful that this was available for her and it's helping her. Thankful for the team at CHOC Children's that have really been an amazing advocate for her and have kept her history at the forefront of their minds as they map out her health care. 

I think back, at the sweet little angel who didn't even have the strength or knowledge to raise her hands to play with toys much less hold up her head, and am SO grateful, eternally grateful for each and every one of you.  Children like her are really considered worthless in her country. Their lives are a burden to the community. They aren't given enough food to sustain themselves and sometimes they are stuck in deplorable conditions. Because we were crazy, we saw a future for one of these children, and we went out on a limb, Sofi now has a family. Because of all of you we are watching our daughter bloom right before our eyes. I can't wait to see what she will become. 

Steps to Sofi....Asya's story part 4

You can read the prior posts HERE:

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

I am reposting my visit....because I said it best in October. 

Dear Life,

Two weeks ago, my life became a dream.

I left my comfort zone, my family, my country, to go on an adventure.

An adventure that has left my heart forever changed.

I flew to Amsterdam, ran through that airport, boarded another plane and landed in Eastern Europe.

The next day, we took a bus for 6 hours.

And ended up in another world.

A world where all the women are tiny, dressed beautifully, and walk everywhere.

A world where there are beautiful, old buildings in the centre of town.

A world where people stroll, talk, and eat in the centre of town.

A world where a part of my heart was snatched by a small, brown eyed, brown haired beautiful girl.

On Monday, I was so nervous.

What if she didn't like me?

What if she didn't respond at all?

What if she wouldn't let me touch her at all?

What if ...what if...what if.

When we went to the orphanage, I had knots in my stomach and shaking hands.

I was introduced to the orphanage director who was so very sweet.

And then....they brought Sofi in.

Tears rolled down my face as I finally was able to see her after 14 months of guessing what she would look like.

I touched her hand softly, and was so happy when she smiled when I talked to her.

Then they asked me if  I wanted to hold her.

"I'm allowed?"

For some reason I thought I would have to gradually work towards holding her.

They handed her to me and I pulled her into the biggest hug.

I touched her beautiful, curly hair, and I talked to her.

I played with her.

And I reveled in her smiles.

They were frequent.

All of my fears went away.

She is so beautiful.

Her eyes are HUGE and her eyelashes are impossibly long.

Her hair is thick and curly.

And her smile is much like Kumaka's, it lights up the room.

She is a favorite in the orphanage.

For that, I am grateful....I can tell that she will be well attended to until we go back to bring her home.

I was able to feed her.

And I hugged her and kissed her for five days straight.

The days became routine, get up, eat breakfast, have the best hot chocolate in the world, get a cab and go visit my girl.

Play with her, feed her, play with her again, leave so she can nap and we could eat lunch.

We would get lunch in the centre, eating outside, watching people and talking.

Then we would go back, I would play with Sofi, feed her a snack, and leave her for the day.

I learned that she liked to be tickled.

I learned that she loves music.

I learned that she loved her daddy's voice.

I learned that she has a ready smile, an adorable giggle, and untamable hair.

I learned that she loved me....when by the fifth day she purposefully rubbed my arm and kissed my hand repeatedly.

Those precious days were a dream.

And then Friday came.

That day was more somber.

I drank my hot chocolate in silence.

I looked over at the buildings and knew I wouldn't see them again for awhile.

I watched the people walking by, envious that they would still be in the same town that my girl lives in and I would be halfway around the world.

I didn't put mascara on that day. I knew that would be futile.

We took the cab, went into the orphanage for the last time.

I held her close and whispered a story about a little princess named Sofi.

I told her that Princess Sofi has a new mommy, that came to visit her.

But before Princess Sofi gets to go home for good, her new mommy had to take care of more paperwork.

I told her about her daddy, the strongest, most loving man in the land.

I told her about her five big brothers, and how much they love her and are waiting for her to come home.

I told her to remember how much I loved her.

And my tears rolled down my face as I told her to remember these hugs and don't forget her mommy.

And when I had to hand her  back to the orphanage director, a piece of my heart fractured.

And that piece stayed in that orphanage with that little girl.

When we got on the bus, my tears rolled down.

I said goodbye to that town, and a see you soon to my girl.

When I close my eyes, I relive that week.

I imagine the hell she lived in for two years.

The first two years of her life, those formative years, were shattered for her.

She was in an orphanage that has now been thankfully shut down.

It was the stuff of nightmares.

She literally never left her crib.

For over two years.

She was never held, she never saw the sunlight.

The only time she was touched was when they changed her diaper.

And I'm sure they didn't do that very often.

She was only fed from a bottle, so she still does not know how to chew or eat whole food.

Thankfully, somehow a miracle happened

She was moved after two years to the orphanage she is at now.

There are only 7 children there, and the change in her has been drastic.

The director told me that when Sofi came to them, she couldn't even move her arms or legs.

She told me that she was tiny.

They taught her to eat mashed food from a spoon.

They held her.

They let her out of her bed to play.

They taught her to laugh.

I have so much love and gratitude for these people, who have saved my girl.

I will never be able to express how grateful I am

Steps to Sofi- Asya's story Part 3

When we contacted Children's House International to inquire about adoption, we were so amazed by the reception we got.  I emailed Nina Thompson, a caseworker at CHI, asking about little girls with Spina Bifida.  Within a few minutes I received an answer, and a couple of files.  Emails started flying back and forth as we fell in love with Asya immediately.  

One of the obstacles was the cost of adoption.
We were floored at the cost and we didn't have $35,000 laying around in a bank account.  We didn't think that should stop this journey, and when Nina told us we could fundraise for the adoption, we blindly started doing so.  We never thought twice, we knew we were supposed to be Asya's parents, and we knew somehow we would get the money. 

We had many fundraisers, many from our local businesses.  But by far the most successful fundraiser we had was our shoe drive.  One night, I was on google, searching for fundraising ideas when I saw the ANGEL BINS website.  I filled out a contact form, and the next day received a phone call from one of the account managers.  She told me we could collect shoes of all sorts as long as they were matching and without holes in the soles....and she said we needed to collect 5000 pairs to raise approximately $3500.  I thought that was a great idea, so we decided to do it.  We started the shoe drive on Januray 3, 2013.  We appealed to everyone on every form of social media.  We had drop off spots in every county we had friends in.  Our Spina Bifida community rallied and collected shoes.  And all of a sudden our little shoe drive took off.  You can read the blog post thanking everyone HERE.  It tells how many counties, states, and the grand total!  Once that shoe drive was completed, we knew that this adoption was being helped along my a divine hand.  

As we shared Asya's story, she became Sofi to us.  Sofi Rose. And in October of 2013, my dear friend and I traveled around the world to meet the beautiful girl with the soft brown eyes.

 Our lives would never be the same.

Stay tuned for Part 4

Asya's Story Part 2

Asya's Story Part 2
(You can see Asya's Story Part 1 HERE)

Asya was moved to a smaller orphanage in December, 2011.

When she was brought in, her body was as stiff as a board.
She didn't bend her arms or legs.
She didn't smile.
She was so small in stature it was unthinkable.

The director there and the staff worked hard to help Asya.
They took her out of the crib.
They sat her up in chairs.
They took her outside once in a awhile.

Eventually she was able to move a little.
And with the attention she received she started to smile.
But she was still voiceless.
She couldn't talk and not one family had asked to look at her file.

Until August, 2012.
When we asked about little girls with Spina Bifida.
And we were shown her photo.
And we fell in love.

In September 2012, we were matched by the Bulgarian government and started the adoption process.
In September 2012, we became her voice.

Stay tuned for Part 3

One word....love

Dear Life,

It's been awhile.

The face we fell in love with

Life has been turned upside down for us.

Our girl is finally home!

"Gotcha Day", February 16, 2014

The boys (minus the one parking the car) waiting for their sister at LAX

(Photo cred: Julie Presley)

Daddy meeting his daughter

(Photo cred: Julie Presley)

Kumaka holding Sofi's hand for the first time (she's looking at him like "Oh no, I'm in trouble")

(Photo cred: Julie Presley)

She is amazingly, wonderfully perfect.

Gazing at her...in awe.

(Photo cred: Julie Presley)

Her spirit shines through whenever she graces us with her smile.

She can be silly.


She can be sad (usually when she's hungry).


But she's perfectly made and amazingly perfect.


The first week she came home, as I contemplated this whirlwind we call "Stepping With Sofi" (also known as "Steps to Sofi"), I was given a confirmation that felt like God whispering to me "This is right.  You have done what I have asked.  She is with her family now.  Thank you"  Tears coursed down my face when I realized to the core of my body that adopting Sofi was something that was absolutely something that God wanted us to do.  It's hard to describe that kind of emotion.

(Photo cred: Julie Presley)

Watching my husband love on this sweet angel, my heart melts into a puddle on the floor.

Watching every single one of my boys hold her with adoration and do their very best to make her smile gives me peace.  She is the glue that bonds our family that we didn't even know we needed.  This tiny, 5 year old angel holds so much power in her hands, her sweet smile, her beautiful brown eyes.  

As we have been with her for a month, and seen some specialists, things have been brought to our attention, and some realities we never thought we would have to face are here.  Things that are hard...extremely hard.

Sofi does not have Spina Bifida.
She in fact has severe Cerebral Palsy.
She had a lesion in her head at birth that was maybe corrected (we are awaiting an MRI to see what is going on in that sweet head of hers)
She had hydrocephalus and now has a shunt.
There are many things that most likely will not change for our sweet girl, no matter how much therapy she has.
Honestly, these words have been hard to hear, and are even harder to write.
Make no mistake, she will have the best medical care we can give her.
We don't expect changes, but when miracles happen, we will rejoice. 


We have cried many tears in the last few weeks, knowing that her path is not the path we expected.
We have humbled ourselves, and asked God, "what is Your plan, because this was not mine".  

We came to a very important realization.  

Sofi came to our family because of love.
The first component of family is love.

Because of the many people that have loved our family, and this sweet girl, she has a mommy, daddy and five brothers.
But more importantly, our family is learning about love from a pure source....our sweet daughter.



Adoption is not perfect.

Adoption is so worth it.

She is not perfect in body...but her spirit is perfect as it shines through her eyes.  

(Photo cred: Chelsea Abinante)

We are blessed to call her daughter.  We can only pray to live up to her example of strength, perseverance, and love.

(Photo cred: Julie Presley)

Jensen Ohana, Party of Eight

Dear Life,

It's official! 

Asya Sofi Rose Leilani Jensen is our daughter!!!!

 

 





I have been flooded with emotions and people congratulating us on this amazing, and LONG AWAITED  event.  I am truly humbled and amazed by the sheer amount of people that have followed Sofi's story and have helped in some way.

 

 

I was thinking about Sofi, and some of the common things that have been said...that we are amazing....that she is so lucky....etc.

We are not amazing, we are just a mom and a dad that believe that no child should be an orphan. 

She is not lucky...she's a survivor....and we are the lucky ones.

Because of her, our eyes have been opened to the heartbreak of the plight of orphans... all over the world.  

Because of her, we have a daughter.
An amazing, beautiful, resilient daughter.

Because of her, the boys have a sister.
A princess in a house full of boys.

We are the lucky ones. 

And because of you we got this far.

Because of people literally all over the world an orphan has a family.
She will be an orphan no more.
Because you shared your love, our story, your prayers, your shoes, your faith, your dollars....our Sofi will come home.
She won't be left in an orphanage.
She won't die.


Now we are planning our pickup trip.

Now we are planning a changed life;
A changed family.

We are so excited.
So grateful.

We are looking to travel to pick her up on February 14 (where we would actually get her on Monday, February 17).  We would be home again all together as a family on February 27th.  And her fifth birthday, ten days later will be celebrated with a family. 

No longer alone.




This road was long.
There were many roadblocks.

All of those that have helped us tear down those road blocks...thank you.




We currently have two weeks left to collect as much used clothing, and shoes as possible to raise the money for her airfare, and her exit medicals.  We are begging all of you to help us in the final stretch.  If you have cleaned your closets, and you are in Southern California, we will come and get your stuff.  If you are out of state, but you still want to contribute to bring our girl home, you can go on our GoFundMe account.  There is no small amount. 


There are no words...thank you is so insignificant.

A child in another country is now our daughter.

A child that was left abandoned.

A child that has had no voice for four years now has a mommy, daddy, and five big brothers.

Her story is your story.

You are the reason she is coming home.

Thank you.