Sunday, May 12, 2013

How can you love her like you love me?

Dear Keoni, Kekoa, Kalani, Kawika, and Kumaka,

One of you asked me a very important question yesterday.

"How do you love Sofi as much as you love me?  You've never even met her!"

I thought about that question a lot yesterday.

When I was pregnant  I didn't know any of you.
The only picture I had was a grainy ultrasound picture.
I didn't know how tall you would be.
I didn't know what your gifts would be.
I didn't know what your challenges would be.
I only knew that I loved you from the time you existed.

That is not much different than our love for Sofi.
We have an outdated photograph.
I don't know if she will ever talk or walk.
I don't know if she will ever smile.
I don't know if she will even bond with me the way I dream of.
I do know that I have loved her since I knew of her existence.
Although I don't  share her DNA, we share something more important....

Adoption is much like 9 months of pregnancy.
You can either gain weight or lose weight (emotional eating or depression fasting)
You experience extreme mood swings.
You are prone to crying for no reason.
You wait for what seems like an eternity until you get to hold your child....

And then your life is never the same.



  1. Great post...such insight! You are an inspiration to us all! Here's hoping that Sofi will be here for the next Mother's Day to celebrate with you!

  2. Tracy that was very beautiful and inspirational. I'm sure you are a wonderful mother and will do your absolute best for Sofi and my prayers are with you and your family.

  3. a really sweet letter. first time dropping by, but i gather that your family is on the road to adopting a little girl. i'm sure she will bring much joy to your family as you all will give to her.

    Sisters Marie
    Start your Child's closet on BTGTF!


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